Embracing the darkness and having an epiphany!

I am having what I can only describe as an epiphany! Last year I was thinking quite a lot about moving back to Denmark… I do this intermittently. I was born there, lived there until I was eight/nine years old. My grandparents stayed there and I spent my summer and winter holidays there for many years. My larger family still lives there and about 12 years ago my parents moved back there. It seems that no matter how long I live in England, I will never be 100% English, though most of the time I do feel it, I still have so much Danish in me. I often think of moving back and then suddenly I dismiss it for one reason or another.

Lesley Boudoir BW-9690

This time it was because I had the opportunity to take on the studio and I have no regrets about this at all. I am however experiencing something I have not experienced before on the same scale and that is a clinging, a yearning, for scandinavian things – music, art, books – and it seems to me that if I can indulge in these things here, and continue to follow both the old culture and the new pop culture, then I will have no need to actually move there.

So what does this have to do with photography? Well, I have realised that my some of my studio photography has been developing and moving in a different direction to what I expected – especially the boudoir/Essence of Woman project. My photography is much darker than I thought it would be (what did I think? I am not sure really). By dark I don’t mean gory, scary or mean, I simply mean that I love the darkness within it, the dusk, the shade and the shadow with shards of light, as opposed to the white and the bright! I have been watching quite a lot of Danish crime series – The Killing and the Bridge and not forgetting the excellent Borgen and Swedish series like Wallender and films like The girl with the dragon tattoo and Babettes Feast. I have also been reading a lot of Scandi crime novels – some Danish, Swedish and Norwegian – (from authors such as AAse Larsson and Jo Nesboe to name only a few) and I have only really been doing that in the last couple of years. So what I am trying to say is that I feel that all of these, including my own ancestry and love of many things Danish, must be having some influence on my photography – more so than I realised.

Serena Witt hires (42 of 130)

At first I was liking my photography to Film Noir… well there is not a French bone in my body and apart from loving Paris, I have never been particularly fond of French Film Noir – nor of their singers or musicians. So whilst I was watching The Bridge the other night, listening to the exceptional theme tune Hollow Talk By the Choir of Young Believers, I started to realise that what I was actually influenced by was not Film Noir (as such, though black and bleak it still is), but instead I am very obviously influenced by the country and continent of my birth; the ice cold winter days, the snow and the darkness, the candles in all the windows, the feel of the dry, chill wind on your face, the birthday cakes with flags on, the well-lit streets of Copenhagen against the black sky, the warmth of the schnapps as it trickles down your throat on a freezing cold xmas day, the long bus journeys in snow boots and hats and gloves, the heat of the radiators on the trains that make your face go red whilst the snow falls  on the windows and your hands struggle to soak up that heat, and the dark underground bars and cafes that welcome you in with Brunkager and hot coffee. It is this that my creativity seems to draw upon in my photography. It IS the light (without light there is no photography), but it is the candle light, the glimmer and hope of the light, the cold and the darkness as we wait for the light and longer days of springtime, that is my influence. It is the candle light that beckons me – the candle light that creates ‘hygge’ (a sense of cosiness – though it means so much more) and the harsh unrelenting winter walks along the beach, and the wind – that crazy northerly wind that makes everything feel like it is 10 degrees below what it actually is – that pushes me forward whilst holding on steadfastly to my past.

KTP Boudoir hires (11 of 41)

It is a bit of a revelation. I have never before sought out Scandinavian music to find the soundtrack to myself or my creativity, until now. The music I have been listening to as I work has been dark, bold, soft, gentle, open, unforgettable, cold, brash and very Scandinavian – there is a real purity in it – almost like ice – sharp, soft, gentle and strong and very beautiful. It has evoked memories of urban cities as well as dark dense woodland, bright, light and carefree summers, and comes with a big black line drawn under it that makes it unmistakably Scandinavian – all of it, albeit, sung in English – and yet that too is unmistakably Scandinavian, as I don’t know a single Dane that cannot speak fluent english. 

Lesley Boudoir BW-9602

So the point of this? Well there isn’t really one.. just that I am musing…musing about the thought of sounding so english, yet being so Danish and how one’s true nature will inevitably always appear if one is creating something like art, literature, photography etc because I don’t think it is possible to lie about one’s creativity as it has to come from the heart, from one’s soul, one’s essence – and my essence is obviously still very Danish.

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Objectivity – a lesson learning.

I have recently met a most wonderful photographer by the name of Emily Fairweather. She specialises in rustic Children’s portraits – natural, outdoors, a little ethereal at times, simple and always, gorgeous. You can check out Emily’s images here: http://www.emilyfairweatherphotography.co.uk/

She contacted me to see if I would be interested in doing some work with her, which of course I was/am. Having chatted, I recently went and helped her out with going through her images from a few weddings she has been doing, and getting them down from too many to just about enough! As with all digital photographers I suspect, she overshoots. I do that too, because I would hate to think that the shot I wanted most was not actually the shot I got and of course, shooting digital means you can do what you like – take as many or as few photographs as you want. The problem of course comes when you have to go through them and delete all the rubbish ones and find the ones you love, because sometimes there are simply too many good ones, but no one wants the same/similar photo twice.

When I do this for myself I can’t look at the images from a wedding until a few days later or I run the risk of deleting the lot! I have to give it just enough time for the adrenaline of the day to settle before I actually dare look at them, and even then, I am uber critical of them at first, but from a very subjective point of view.

Having helped Emily with hers, I have notice that actually when I look at my own images now, I am starting to look at them in a much more objective way, almost as if through someone else’s eyes; the eyes of the person in them, or the people or person who I am doing them for. So, for example, when I went through and rejected some recent studio shots, I thought mostly about what sort of photo Sarah would like to see of herself, then I thought about what makes the photo a good photo and then about what I thought I could do to make that photo better – not necessarily for all the photos individually. It was a big change as before I had found myself mostly thinking about whether it was an image I would like and that represented me as a photographer, as well as whether it was an image they would like. I am not sure I am explaining this terribly well, but I what I think I am trying to say is that there are many different reasons for keeping a photo or deleting a photo, but that the sole reason cannot be simply whether I like it or not. It has to be more than that, and that is why being objective and not always following your heart is one of the hardest and yet most valuable things to be able to do.

I really felt that having done this exercise for someone else, I am beginning to learn to not be so overly critical of myself, which is a very valuable lesson to learn. I have in other instances learnt not to take so many photos as well, whilst shooting next to someone shooting film, and that in itself has been an invaluable experience.

Claire Tom Wedding lores jpgs (10 of 251)The great thing about getting to know other photographers so much better is the amount of knowledge sharing you can do. All the people I have met recently have been incredibly kind, helpful, and communicative, not to mention, totally up for collaborating. I do really believe in the power of collaboration and that as there are so many photographers out there vying for business it is essential that we start to communicate and we begin to think about the prices we charge, so that we don’t undercut anyone else. Obviously there are different levels of pricing, but it really is essential that we become more aware of our impact on ourselves and those around us!
Tyntesfield lores (55 of 62)So, I am loving my new found friends with similar interests. In the last few months I have met and got to know a lovely group of photographers, who I think would all get on really well. I think it will be one of my missions to get us all together, even if it is simply to chat about fstops, the beauty of film, wedding traumas, memory cards and exposure settings – all over a drink or two. Well – it would be rude not to!

Love and fstops to you all, – mine’s a 1.8 barman!

Christina

Blow up

blow up pster

I don’t know if any of you remember the film Blow up… I didn’t see it the first time around as I am actually not quite that old, but in my mid-twenties my then partner and I bought a poster of the film. It was a photo of a woman that was completely pixelated so you could only just make out what it was. The colours were black and cream, red and blue and it was in fact a Polish design with Polish writing on it. The British posters were of the photographer and the woman, nothing quite as gorgeous as this…  I remember when I first saw it and loving it. Just this morning I was thinking about the effect of this poster and how after we bought it, I converted a couple of images of my partner into pixelated images, using the same effect, for a birthday present. So, since I sadly had to leave it behind when we split (14 or so years ago), I decided to get another one… so I bought it this morning!!! I am now very excited for it’s imminent arrival.

At the time of buying the first one I was working in reprographics and was surrounded by beautiful photography, extremely talented Photoshop workers, designers, illustrators and retouchers and I had never thought about becoming a photographer, but something about this poster really resonated with me. It was a few years later that I sat down and finally watched the film. It was all about a mod photographer who takes a series of photographs of a mysterious beauty in a London park and finds something rather suspicious going on as he develops the film. It is incredibly 60’s, a little avant garde at least for the time, I think, and is an absolute joy to watch. It was nominated for a couple of Oscars and won a number of other awards I believe.

I am not hugely into old films, but there was definitely something about this one that lit the fire of passion in me for photography. It took many years for it to develop, but this film, along with working in reprographics and publishing were definitely key to me finding my dream. I often wish it had happened sooner, but I would not be the photographer I am today, if that was the case, so I really can’t complain.

I recently did a shoot for Chrissie. She wanted photos done for a profile picture as well as photos for her reinvention, her rejunevation, her coming to terms with an ageing body and ageing face, and learning to embrace that, whilst also in the midsts of menopause. I was immensely honoured that she chose me to accompany her on this journey.

Chrissie July 2013 Colour BW LORES (15 of 132)We spent 4 hours together, walking, talking and taking photographs. It was a very valuable experience for me, and for her, but what it has made me understand more experientially is that there is something so incredibly strong about women in general, the way we have to go through all these hormonal changes at various times of our lives, whether it be the teens or the pregnancy or the menopause and how we simply just have to get on with it – transitioning from one woman to the next woman we are going to be. It is not easy, but we do it. I have also realised that the joy that I have felt taking these photographs of Chrissie, and more importantly, the time I have spent with her, showing her the photographs, and seeing her grow from someone who could hardly look at them at first, into someone who shows absolutely acceptance of who she is, and not just acceptance but ‘love’ for who she is, who she is becoming and how she is transforming herself, was the greatest gift anyone could actually ever have given me, whilst looking at photographs I had taken and enables me to know, truly know, that what I am doing, and where I am, is where I want to be.

Chrissie July 2013 Colour BW LORES (89 of 132)This is what Chrissie wrote on her FB status:
– just a recommend for all my menopausal or post menopausal friends – if you are feeling a bit crappy about how you look, sagging in places you didn’t know could sag, and wondering how to inhabit this ageing (gracefully or otherwise) body, then this is a tonic for the soul. A photoshoot with Christina.’ –

If I ever needed a reason to be where I am now, this would be it. I love being a tonic for the soul and if there are any peri, meno or post menopausal women out there who would like some help coming to terms with where they are and who they are and who they are becoming through going on a photoshoot with me, I would be only too pleased to help where I can!

Love and Chocolate (possibly the only cure :o) to all!

Christina

35mm – Trials and Tribs

agfa

My first ever camera – one I hardly used as a teenager – what a shame!! Making up for lost time now though…

I recently started to get interested in shooting film, rather than digital, at least for street photography. My lovely friend Col, an incredibly talented film street photographer, and I have had big long chats about shooting film and he totally awakened in me the need to go and do just that! Having never shot film before – well not really, only on cameras I took on holiday with me, before the advent of digital technology, I really had no idea how this was going to play out, what I was going to feel and whether I was going to like it or not – there is strange symmetry in this with the rest of my life currently – doing something just because it is fun and it doesn’t matter necessarily what the result is. Anyway – as usual, I digress!

Knightshayes Court Tiverton

This was one of the first colour images I took on the AGFA.

I decided to dig out my great aunt’s old Agfa Silette 35mm camera and see if it actually worked. At the same time, I came across a bric a brac shop that was selling all types of old cameras, and I just happened to buy 4 of them, for £20! A Minolta, a Beirette, a Ricoh, a vintage kodak and later I bought a Praktica from an antique shop! Well, you know me, can’t do anything by halves!!

The first film I shot was on the AGFA, it was a black and white Ilford 200. It was ok until the wind-on button stopped winding the film on but photos were still being snapped – oh no, that wasn’t the worst bit, it was the fact that I could hear that there was something wrong with the film, as it kept crunching and there was nothing for it but to… open the camera!!! Yes… that is one thing to remember when shooting film… don’t open the camera unless you have either managed to run the film back or you are in a very dark place, like a black binliner! I did have the excuse that I had to open it in order to get a new film in, but on reflection it might have been better if I had simply left it. Obviously, I had to wait until the film was developed to really ascertain the damage… I ended up having to pay £8 for a totally exposed film with no images on it what-so-ever… we live and learn.

Taunton Street Crew

Taken on the Agfa

The next film I popped in was an AGFA film which I bought 20 of in Poundland. I popped that into the camera and it worked like a dream. I actually had no real idea how to use the camera and was using it before I went on a film workshop, but somehow I managed to get it mostly right. The images were gorgeous… or rather, the colour was gorgeous.

Taunton Street Crew in the air

Taken on the Agfa

The images were OK… pretty average really… but because of the colour they just look super vintage and beautiful – even more so than any Instagram filter could ever do.  I also took some shots of the street dance boys in Taunton and I was utterly amazed at what I came out with. I didn’t think I would have really been able to capture them in mid air as I didn’t know the speed of my fingers or the camera, but it actually worked.

The mouse at Knightshayes Court

The mouse at Knightshayes Court, shot on the Agfa

Taken on the RICOH 500 - wingmirror - 35mm AGFA colour film

Taken on the RICOH 500 – wingmirror – 35mm AGFA colour film

My favourite camera that I took out had to be the Minolta, A zone focus camera, but it kept jamming. Little did I know that it was because the battery wasn’t working. I changed the battery and lo and behold it stopped – or rather, the lovely men in the London Camera Exchange sorted it for me. It still jams every now and then, but not to the same extent. I love the zone focus because it is so easy to use and I think that if I was going to go and do some London street photography, it would be my camera of choice. I haven’t seen the results from the Minolta yet so I suppose I could change my mind! I love the ease of it! Saying that though, the Ricoh 500 is a great little camera too – and although I have a major light leak problem with it, it is just a real beauty. I love the results from the Ricoh! I do need to stop the light from leaking, however awesome it might look! I took it out for the day in Bristol and shot a lot of benches it seems!! There are an awful lot of empty benches in Clevedon. I also used it for a shot I took of my wingmirror. I personally love this shot. It’s not innovative or edgy, but its just a gorgeous colour!

Sadly the Beirette doesn’t work and although the Praktica did work it now seems to have lost all function of its lightmeter – I however just love the fact that I even know what the light meter is on an SLR and that I know what it should be doing! Apparently this could be because of the battery. However, I changed the battery… and still nothing… so it looks like I will have another excuse to visit the LCE again… not that I really ever need an excuse.

Ricoh 500

Taken on the Ricoh – with the light leak!

All in all, I have shot about 10 films and have still got two that need developing. I was doing a really good job of labelling the films at first, but now it seems I have been a little remiss and I haven’t a clue which is which. Hopefully the images will remind me of which camera I had with me on that day…

As well as shooting film, I also went on an excellent 35mm film workshop run by Justin Orwin in his fabulous studio in Martock. It was myself and my friend Jan, who quite frankly behaved like school girls most of the day! Saying that though, we did learn an awful lot! We were supposed to shoot some film too, but there was so much to take in, so much to learn and rather a lot of laughing and chattering that there was simply not time. I am glad in a way, as it was so good getting down to the nitty gritty technical aspect of film and camera work.I already knew a lot, but this was uber helpful! I learnt more about speed than I had done before -my complete downfall as I never ever shoot in TV and if I shoot in Manual it is always the depth of field I am paying attention to… It was great knowing that I know so much more than I thought, and it was equally as great learning about the film speeds and exposure and which films to use when, about lenses and filters, as well as light temperature and more about white balance. There was such an awful lot to take in that I simply don’t know if it will all stick!

Vivary park

35mm agfa film on the AGFA camera

I have to mention that Justin was incredibly patient with us and I mustn’t forget that he also gave me some medium format film for my vintage Kodak, which I have only used a few times. I am so looking forward to taking it out on my next street photography outing or perhaps even to my next portrait shoot in a couple of days!

I have really enjoyed shooting film, I love the fact that I can’t see the result straight away, though that is more of a love/hate relationship. I do love the excitement of going back into the developers and seeing what is on my pictures. I am getting used to the disappointment too, as many of them don’t come out, but the worst thing about film? The expense! It might only be a couple of pounds for the film itself, but the developing is sooo expensive – I guess in a way that THAT is what makes us so much more careful about when we press the button. I noticed on a recent shoot with Justin that I was more careful pressing the button on my digital camera than before, as he was slower, shooting film. I rather like to remember that now when I shoot. We should treat our digital shots in much the same way, with the same care and attention as we give to our film shots. For me, it was a revelation to come away with so many decent shots, just because I slowed down a bit!

Will I ever shoot just film? No. No! I am definitely not brave enough for that, but I will take some film cameras with me to weddings and other shoots and see what comes of them, and I will gladly shoot film for street! It’s been an amazing exercise, and I am so grateful to Col for releasing this love of film in me that I simply didn’t know I had. Long may it last.

Summer News… my recent mail out…

Last time I wrote an email to you all it was freezing cold and the middle of January, I believe. What a wonderful change to be sitting here in short sleeves instead of long gloves, trying to keep my typing fingers warm. Today the west country is bathed in glorious sunshine, once again with a few showers expected later no doubt!

To celebrate the sunshine I thought I would send you all a little update on the kind of things that have been going on for me this first half of the year. My love of photography, including my photographic confidence, is growing all the time. I am gradually honing in on what I love to do most, and although it hasn’t changed a great deal since I began this journey, it has wavered a little in between, but I keep coming back to the same thing and taking photographs of children is most definitely my passion and the time when I am truly in my element – a great place to be.
Fruitandveg lores (64 of 125)One thing that really surprised me this year was how much I love to photograph weddings. I love everything about them, from the engagement shots, to planning the shots for the wedding itself, the cleaning of my lenses in preparation for the big day, the writing of the shot lists, and the excessive planning for all eventualities and weather management! My march wedding was freezing cold, and I have to admit, I did not plan for the cold! Nonetheless, it was a fantastic day, and being on my feet from 8am to 9pm, taking photographs, was the best feeling in the world. What an honour it is too, to be involved in such a special day.

Abby Shoot Portrait BW lores (17 of 48)

I have also experienced 2 firsts this year. A dog shoot – the lovely Reggie – and a horse shoot, the lovely Welly. Both of which were absolutely brilliant, challenging and such remarkably good fun! They say never to work with children or animals… personally I think DO work with them both, and if possible, at the same time!

I have also been doing some fun ‘personal’ shooting including some more street photography, which I love though I do need to take myself off to some busier streets than Taunton! I have started a little street photography project on the English seaside too and one day I might even exhibit it. I have also played around with some food photography, which I find myself a little obsessed with and  I even managed to get Abby (the bride) back in her wedding dress and drove her down to Monmouth Beach in Lyme Regis to take photos of her, purely for fun. I loved it and I hope my images portray that – see link below.

Reggie desaturated lores (24 of 58)On Friday I am doing a 35mm film workshop, as I have started to shoot film too and found some great old cameras to practice with. I am loving the challenge of shooting film on an old Agfa of my great aunt’s, a medium format film kodak, and a Ricoh 500 that lets in too much light (must get that fixed), a zone focus minolta (my favourite) as well as an old Practika SLR which I am just about to get the first film back from. It is such an interesting ride this journey into film, and one I am delighted to be on.

Mr and Mrs N COL hires (452 of 610)So – what will I be concentrating on for the rest of the year and the future? I hope it will be more weddings, christenings (as I really enjoy both) and other family parties, more teen shoots, more family shoots, more portraits (human and animal), and I will hopefully be taking myself into schools and nurseries to do some natural light outdoor play school photographs as well as looking to get in to the studio more. I love being a natural light photographer, but I really want to learn more about studio lighting – my goal for the rest of the year along with doing some more workshops and learning as much as possible. The possibilities are endless, and we have to grab them when we can!

I don’t really like receiving lots of update emails myself, so I don’t tend to send them out very often, (hence the length of this one!) so if you want to keep up with what I am doing then my blog is the best place to do so:  https://steeniesphotoblog.wordpress.com/ It is all about my journey into photography (highs and lows) and I hope you will find it both informative and fun. Come and say hello!

I hope your year is going well and that you are enjoying our little summer – long may it last. Thank you for reading and I look forward to connecting with you again soon.
Christina

PS – if you want to receive emails from me… come make yourself known! I don’t send them out very often – as you can see – about 6 months in between at the last count!  ;o) Many thanks! xx

Lyme Bay Bridal Shoot

French Lieutenant’s woman meets gone with the wind meets…

A few weeks ago I managed to get Abby back in her wedding dress. I say I managed – it was not exactly a hardship and I think she might even bite my hand off to do the same again. Justin Orwin and I decided we wanted to have some fun and shoot some bridal portraits by the sea and luckily Abby was a willing victim. Abby Shoot Portrait BW lores (48 of 48)Justin Orwin is an experienced wedding photographer who I did an introductory workshop with at Clavelshay Barn not long ago. I went on the workshop to find out really how much or how little I already knew, and I have to say I was pleasantly surprised. I decided to challenge myself all day and shot in manual focus as well as On Manual. I learnt a lot and you can read all about that in one of my previous posts! However, I digress (as usual).

So – A wednesday evening, at Lyme Regis, Monmouth Bay, and the weather was very kind to us! The light was utterly stunning and the backdrop was quite magnificent.

Abby Shoot Portrait BW lores (21 of 48)Justin had a very definite idea of what he wanted to achieve, whereas although I had an idea, I wanted to just see where it would go and simply let the evening, the dress and Abby guide me. That is something I found quite interesting. I think it is very much my style of photography. I don’t think that at the moment I am a ‘Director’… I have no problem asking someone to sit down or stand up or throw her head back laughing, but these are not things I plan… I actually like to see what the environment gives me before I know where to go with the shots.I didn’t find directing Abby difficult, but I also didn’t do it as much as Justin, preferring the candid shots that I got of her, for that very same reason. It is also the difference between shooting film and digital.Abby Shoot Portrait BW lores (10 of 48)

Justin was shooting film, and I was shooting digital. So, I was much more able to take snap away, whilst he had to be much more concentrated, waiting, to get that perfect shot. I like the idea of shooting film, but I would never want to do a whole wedding on film only. I have the utmost respect for photographers like Justin who only used to do wedding photographs shooting film – I cannot imagine ever having the courage to do that myself. I love the differences between us. I find it fascinating!

Abby Shoot Col lores (128 of 150)Another thing I found quite interesting was that when I got home, I realised that I had spent an awful lot of time  on the full image – which is different to the way I normally shoot. I am normally much more concerned with portraiture and headshots. Yet, the dress for me, trailing along the sand, or the shapes that the dress was making, suddenly became really important to me. I also found that the images I really liked were the full body, colour images – probably because of the light, the blue of the sea and the dark blue of the cliffs, the white of the dress, the bluey white of the sand and the stones and the overall soft pink light that blanketed every shot giving it a warm glow… I really love these images. That is not to say that the portraits aren’t also my favourites, but they were found later in post processing as I cropped in on some of the images. During the evening itself I concentrated much more on full body shots and the dress. I find it fascinating how I notice these little things about myself and about my photography. How changes occur all the time.

Abby Shoot Portrait BW lores (17 of 48)I shot mainly using my Canon 50mm. This was unusual as I would normally like to use my 18-200mm for safety but actually I really loved just using the 50mm. I changed towards the end to my Tamron 90mm which is a superb portrait lens for very little money. I love that lens and I was delighted with the results. The 50mm is a 1.8 and the Tamron is 2.4 (I think) – so both lens let in a lot of light, and creates a beautifully shallow depth of field. I love how the backgrounds are just blurred out, helping to fix on the subject itself.
I am currently scouting for more models – I have a few up my sleeve and just have to get them together and get them out there! I even bought a couple of wedding dresses – cheap ones that were being sold off – so that we have some should they be needed. I cannot wait to see who is going to get in them!

Abby Shoot Col lores (44 of 150)I have grand ideas about doing a wedding fashion shoot with 3+ models on the beach… I also have a vision of something a bit more edgy, a bit supermodel avant garde alternative! I will definitely need to get my Director’s head on for that, but I think I will be OK – putting the vision into action will be a huge challenge, but I can see it before me… surely that is half the battle won already!

I have to say a huge thank you to Abby for being a star and of course a mega thanks to Justin for suggesting we go play on the beach with wedding dresses and models, in the first place! I hope there will be many more play dates in the future! You can see Justin’s photographs and read more about him here… http://www.justinorwin.co.uk/ – and if anyone is reading this and fancies getting into their wedding dress again and having some amazing images created, then please feel free to contact me for a quote.  xx

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The British Seaside

I am doing my best to work on my street photography. It is not an immediately comfortable thing for me to do, so when I start snapping away at people above me I follow that by a ‘hello!’ and a wave! Sometimes I think I must look pretty stupid! ha! But, when shots like this come out, then I have to be super happy with that! I am really pleased with this one.